Today we will talk about a seditious topic – the art of using so-called “dirty” words during sex. Why do some people enjoy swearing during sublime lovemaking? How to swear correctly, how to overcome embarrassment and how to maximize the pleasure of the process for both partners? Read about this and more in our article.
My task is not an easy one. On the one hand, you need to talk about dirty words. On the other hand, the magazine is censored … Heh, just “catch-22”. Well, I will try to cover the topic as delicately as possible. Let’s start by talking about why dirty talk during sex can be arousing?
As a linguist, I will say that a word without context means absolutely nothing. A swearing term uttered during an argument can hurt a person, the same term during sex can give him strong sexual arousal.
A prime example of such interests was shown in the TV series Sex Education. One of the heroines – a school teacher – asked her boyfriend to call her names during sex. The man was also a teacher and was extremely shy about calling his girlfriend. One day she simply told him why curses were so important to her. All day she walks around school all so cultured and intelligent. School is not a place where she can express her sexuality. Year after year, such a life seems to kill the feeling “I am a woman, I am desired” in it.
Thus, it became obvious that the point is not in the curses themselves, but in the sense that is embedded in them. Dirty words carry the message: “You are sexy. I want you wildly right now. ” By the way, the guy got out of the situation in a very interesting way. He simply began to pronounce the most ordinary, not a bit dirty words, but his intonations, facial expressions, gestures, excited tone endowed them with the very meaning so desired for the teacher – “You are beautiful. You turn me on. I want you”.
What dirty words to use in the bedroom
Talk to each other, find out your attitude to certain words. There is no universal set of curses for sex that absolutely everyone would like. So, for example, a woman in a bedroom may be turned on by the word “bitch”, but at the same time the definition of “dirty” can offend. Therefore, it is extremely important to find out the priorities of the partner. In addition, keeping in mind the above situation from the TV series “Sex Education”, it is important to understand that dirty words are not as high priority. The main thing is the meaning that both partners put in them. The key word is BOTH.
A quick guide to using dirty words during sex
Phone sex
Choosing the moment to use dirty words is an art. Telephone sex worker guides provide helpful advice. Yes, you heard right, in this profession there are guides, manuals, training manuals and other guides with useful recommendations.
1) Don’t use dirty words right away. Wait for the moment of strong arousal from your partner.
2) Build expressiveness gradually. First, the more innocent phrases, and then (if the partner reacts positively) more rude.
3) Watch your partner’s reactions. If you notice that a word offends him, and does not excite him, do not use that word.
4) Focus on intonation. Dirty words spoken in an angry or indifferent voice can hurt a person painfully. Make sure your voice sounds exciting. Moan, breathe, play with intonations, demonstrating sexual desire.
5) Alternate swear words with gentle compliments. Dirty words in sex are not meant to insult a partner. Few people will like this option, unless you are using BDSM role-playing games. In other cases, it is important for a partner to understand that you excite him, you love him, you desire him, and do not scold him at all. Therefore, it is worth alternating dirty words with pleasant compliments.
These simple rules will help you make sex spicy. Follow them to enrich your intimate life with new emotions. By the way, about sex on the phone – just dirty words can significantly improve the quality of long-distance sex. And it (in view of the pandemic and quarantines) is now practiced by many couples.
What if one partner wants dirty words, and the second is unpleasant?
Disagreements in the bedroom
The guy wants to swear dirty in the bedroom, and the girl is offended. The girl asks the guy to call her during sex, and he cannot overcome his cultural dislike for the mate. How to be? The solution is simple – TALK. Talk to each other heart to heart and explain your feelings.
In society, there is a stupid stereotype according to which partners should converge on a mental level, including in sex. And if they have disagreements, then that’s it – it’s time to put an end to the relationship, there is no love in them, we collect things, file for divorce and return the maiden name. A lot of couples have been destroyed with such a stupid approach. Any field of human activity requires knowledge and practice. In any study, we make mistakes. The same goes for sex. Everything will not work out perfectly right away. Therefore, it is important to talk to each other, to explain your desires.
The meaning of sex is mutual pleasure. No need to break yourself, just to please your partner. Always look for the optimal solution that suits both. And you need to start your search with conversations in which you should clarify your feelings and express (this is important!) Respect for your partner’s feelings. Let’s take a look at the conversation options.
Example 1. A partner craves dirty words
Explanation of motives:
1. “My dear beloved man. I am very excited by such and such words. In the minutes before orgasm, I burn with desire for you and these words themselves ask to get off the tongue. “
2. “When you say such and such words, my sexual desire increases and my orgasm becomes brighter.”
Expressing respect for your partner’s wishes and finding a compromise:
“I see that these words are unpleasant to you. Let’s think together what words with less expressive coloring you can use without dislike so that they please me.
Example 2. A partner does not want to use dirty words
Explanation of motives:
“My dear beloved man. It is unpleasant for me to use such and such words, because (you voice the reasons). “
Expressing respect for your partner’s wishes and finding a compromise:
“I see that it’s pleasant for you to hear (or pronounce) these words. Let’s think together what phrases will please you, and I will not be embarrassed during sex. “
Remember that it is not the words themselves that affect the arousal, but the meaning of them. Find compromises, experiment and you will be happy. If you find it difficult to overcome shyness, turn dirty talk into a theatrical play. Imagine yourself as actors, try to enter scripts for role-playing games.
And that’s all. We sincerely hope that our tips will help you enrich your intimate life. All love, understanding and bright orgasms!