I want sex, but it is not! What to do?

This article is for those who consider sex an important component of their lives. You can not read the rest.

In LJ, I came across a question from one man: does the husband really want oral sex if he went to a prostitute? The wife of 10 years refuses this … Comments boiled down to the following: why even make excuses and see such a wife.  

I also think that nafig. Because you have to live with a smart and beautiful woman. The rest is continuous torment. It is known after all: “If a woman by thirty has not become a beauty, then she is a fool.” Speaking of beauty, I do not mean model data, but mean a well-groomed woman. A smart wife never refuses to her husband sex, because she understands that others will agree to fulfill her duties.  

If you do not get physical pleasure in marriage or in a partnership, you have to run. There are plenty of reasons for discontent in sex: the partner has ceased to carefully monitor himself, is lazy, you have different temperaments. There are women who are indifferent to sex. I don’t know about men. I think that too, but they, liars, are not recognized). 

Or inconsistencies in bed appeared immediately, but you turned a blind eye to it, it painfully the guy (girl) was handsome (rich, funny, free, etc.). Waiting for something to change for the better is stupid.

Of course, if you want to get “unbridled” on the washing machine, and the partner stubbornly does “it” in the bedroom, then just take it and invite him to move to the bathroom. He himself will not guess about it. If a man (woman) happily took the initiative – everything is in order, harmony reigns between you. But if he is bent and calls it a perversion – pick up things and rush away from his house (or urgently share square meters with him). It is clear that the passion of the first month of life together for years can not hold. But if your husband (wife) is less and less reluctant to have sex, you should at least think about it and talk with your partner.  

Somehow I had a man at the reception. He was tormented by remorse that he began to cheat on his wife. You can understand him: she didn’t paint at home (“I want to relax!”) And dressed casually

 – Going to work – the queen! And at home Cinderella. I don’t want her anymore … – explains.  

He brought her to the reception. Indeed, almost the queen is fashionably dressed, long-legged, pretty. I can’t even believe in the story about her favorite home workouts. I think that someone, too, wound up on the side, because with incomprehension and irritation she listened to my arguments about the need for constant seduction of her husband. In the end, he got a mistress. 

Men should not relax either. The habit of walking naked to the waist at home (and the figure is not Tarzan), not shaving on weekends (and the stubble does not suit you), forgetting about compliments to the wife and flirting with her (women are greedy for affectionate words) cools even the most passionate women.

Once I was visiting a friend who was spinning tricks with a fitness instructor. Her husband, who has gained forty kilograms over the past couple of years, whispered confidentially to me, sipping a beer: “Lenka is good … But, damn it, cold. She basically doesn’t need sex. ” Yeah, I thought to myself, she doesn’t need sex with you. Lena is a voluptuous woman. It’s a pity that you are such a mug. ” A friend, by the way, still divorced him. “Marriage for visibility is not for me. We have not been spouses for a long time and to pretend that everything is in order is disgusting, ” she said.      

In sex, there is still such a problem: a man with whom you just started dating, slows down, you are not drawn to bed. A month or two passes, and you are still ignorant of his abilities. Take the initiative in your own hands:

 – Let’s go to you?

Maybe he was just waiting for this! And if “no” again, drop the guy. I regret to inform you that there are plenty of impotent people even among 30-year-olds.

Appreciate your new lover honestly. For a long harmonious sexual relationship, it is necessary that the partners immediately liked each other. That immediately it was very good. If after the first night you cannot clearly say “He is beautiful!”, Give the man another chance to prove himself and draw a conclusion. If not, break up. People often do not fit together physically (by smell, habits, body structure). Do not be fooled.  

If everything was fine, but after a month the man stalled, passion came to naught, slow down the novel yourself. Leave for a while in the mud, let him sort out his feelings. Perhaps he realized that you are waiting for a serious relationship, saw your love, and he is not ready for such a turn. Or you do not fit him in any other way (you have children, you live with your mother, you are much older than him, you are not educated – but you never know what!). Or maybe you just crushed his masculine essence with your initiatives (sex suffers from this, a man cannot remain passionate).  

And finally: if your lover (husband) reproaches you of coldness (sticks after your 12-hour work day), lack of initiative in bed and lack of search for affection – think about it. Do not point to the door immediately. Try to get better. But ask him in full! So that he was ready 24 hours a day, and that everything described on the 1999 pages of the “Bible of Sex” could be put into practice. 

Then, to be honest! Then you are a real couple.

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