To begin with, I have been living in a happy marriage for 17 years and would never trade my faithful for another man. Our feelings are not only not dulled over the years, but seem to have become even stronger and brighter than at the very beginning of the relationship. Perfect family? It is possible, but only with the proviso that in the last 10 years I regularly make lovers and “bring the brain out” to them, and not to my spouse.
Before you begin to resent my “immoral behavior,” I hasten to add that my husband loves and trusts me 100%. He still does not know about my double life, and if he guesses, he understands that because of the different temperaments, I need much more sex than he does. In any case, it does not suit me disassembly and jealousy scenes.
Big age difference and first experiments
I have never been a romantic young lady who dreamed of true love. Such that once and for all life. Morally, I was ready for the fact that from the first time it may even fail, and only with the second or third cavalier will a truly happy marriage. In addition, I was a curious person and craved experiments. It seemed to me too boring to give up all the joys of life and focus only on one single man. Therefore, unlike my peers, I did not start a “serious relationship” and did not worry about my first love – light and not burdensome novels were fine with me. But until, until I met Igor.
Once I saw him in the corridor of our university and thought that this handsome man was probably much more interesting and more experienced than my peers. The big difference in age did not bother me at all, and I boldly handed him a phone number, written, as I remember, on the torn-out exercise book. He called two days later. And so began our story. Although, as he later confessed, he did not understand why the 17-year-old girl drew attention to the 30-year-old gentleman. I was eager for adventure, and only a few months later, after our first meeting, I realized that he was my second half. We would not be in a hurry to formalize the relationship, but my parents insisted that he decide – or an official marriage, or let him not fool the girl’s head. My cavalier, of course, chose the first option, and soon we were already exchanging oaths of loyalty under the march of Mendelssohn.
Family life and routine
At the very beginning of our family life, I felt absolutely happy and content myself with what my faithful could offer me at that time. He did not hurry me and, it seemed, on purpose did not bother with his caresses, so that I got used to the new status and another rhythm of life. I also wanted novelty and passion, but this, as it turned out later, he was not able to give me. It was enough for him to perform his marital duty once every two weeks, while I was ready to experiment with him every night. So much was my wish. Alas, but whatever I did, I could not stir up my spouse’s appetite. But otherwise, we had complete mutual understanding, so there could be no parting speech. Yes, I was offended by some coldness in bed, but I hoped that the appearance of children would help us to get closer, including in an intimate way.
The appearance of the child and the revision of attitudes
The news about my pregnancy seems to have pleased Igor much more than me. He decided that he could finally breathe calmly, because my attention would be focused on the little one, so I will not pester him with my love joys. Oh, how wrong he was! It seems to me that after pregnancy I became even more acutely in need of attention and caress and now I wanted sex even more than when we were a childless couple. He was amazed at my indefatigable energy: I had enough strength to babysit a child, and then to arrange romantic surprises for my husband in the bedroom.True, it was enough for a while. After a couple of months of my active molestation, he gently asked for a breather and advised me to spend more time with the child, rather than engage in nonsense. It seems it was the first time when we practically had a fight. I was offended so much that I slept in the nursery for several days, thinking about how I could live on.
Thinking that my husband is a wonderful person and a wonderful father, I decided not to even consider the option of divorce, but try to make our life with him as comfortable as possible. That’s just how I would not strive, I could not curb my sexual appetite. And in the end I decided that I was too young to put an end to my sexuality and forget about my needs. After all, time will pass and soon, perhaps, I really will not need sex, so why not focus on it right now?
“Left” trips as a way to strengthen marriage
According to psychologists, over time, the passion fades away and sex in marriage becomes much less – a fact with which you can not argue. And if it suited my spouse quite well, then I decided to look for it on the side. Everything is better than to turn into an unsatisfied shrew, to fall for those close to nothing and destroy their relations with their own hands. This is definitely not my case.
I signed up for a fitness club and became acquainted with interesting men. Moreover, she tried to choose her peers, or those who are a bit younger, to the gentlemen. After all, I had enough of an adult mentor at home, so I determined the age criterion for myself very clearly. My spouse is a calm and non-conflicting person who believes that there should be 100% trust in the family, otherwise why should people be together at all. Therefore, he did not have any questions about where I am and how I spend time without him. In addition, I always made appointments during the daytime, and spent all evenings and nights with my family. And it was not a casual connection. At first, a man and I recognized each other, before I decided to go with him a little further than just flirting. Sometimes I had “constant lovers”, the connection with which lasted from a year to a year and a half. Just then either they or I had another need and we parted on a very good note.
Surprisingly, as soon as my meetings entered the schedule, then family relations began to improve with us: no stress, tension and misunderstanding. I left all this there – in the arms of another person, and for my husband I became a loving, caring and understanding wife. Do I regret something now? I do not know, but it seems to me that if I did not dare to do this, then we would have long run away, because sex, whatever one may say, is an important component of marriage, and we just didn’t have it. And I will not argue that this is the only way to strengthen the relationship, but in our case it really worked and now my husband and I are even closer to each other than at the very beginning of family life.