Mismatch of sexual temperaments. Why is this happening?

The mismatch of sexual temperaments in a couple can be a good reason for divorce. However, this discrepancy does not appear immediately, but after a year, and sometimes even more years of marriage. Why is this happening? 

Let’s immediately take it as an axiom that male sexuality is very different from female sexuality. Men need sex as air. This is his normal physiological need. Of course, all men are different and the sexual “appetite” is also different for everyone. But a man cannot do without sex at all – regular sex is the key to his health. Not only physical, but also psychological.     

For a woman, sex is not as vital as for a man. A woman is looking for sex in emotions, feelings and love. At the same time, she lives quite calmly and without sex. In the end, every woman of childbearing age for a week on “critical days” can easily refrain from making love, and this will not affect her psychological balance. Again , we make a reservation that the temperament of women also varies, but the general trend is still the same.   

When young people just started a family, they are still in the euphoria of falling in love. During this period, they can spend hours in bed and not get tired of each other. The man is happy. After all, he dreamed that there would be a lot of sex. And so he got everything he wanted. He admires his wife. It is noted that male spouses can easily be excited by hearing the wife’s voice on the phone.

Having married, a man does not think about cheating. At work, he recalls with a smile the night spent with his wife the day before, and secretly looks forward to the coming evening. And everything would seem to be perfect, if not for one “but” … The period of acute love inevitably passes. Dates are difficult to name here. Each pair has their own. On average , from one to three years. This time is just enough for the firstborn to appear in the family.     

It is here that young people are waiting for a real test. It is difficult to say why this happens, but after the birth of a child, most women turn into mother hens. And the young mother is no longer up to her husband’s sexual needs. The child comes to the fore. And he takes all her strength and energy from her. A woman sincerely does not understand why a man needs so much sex? What if the child wakes up?    

After childbirth, the woman’s sexuality is somewhat transformed. Some people have a “second wind” and they begin to receive much more pleasure from making love than they did before, before the birth of the child. For others , the level of sexual activity may drop to zero. As a rule, this happens with those women who, during childbirth, gained excess weight and already after the birth of a child cannot come in “girlish” forms.  

Here you need to understand that a woman in sex is excited, including from herself. She needs to be absolutely sure that she is beautiful, smells good , etc. She also needs to make the love nest as comfortable as possible. Thus, if a woman feels her “ugliness”, then this her subjective sensation can completely discourage her desire to make love with her husband. But a husband doesn’t have anything without carnal love! And in principle, it’s not very important for him how his wife meets the standards of beauty. He married you, which means you are completely satisfied with him.    

But the decrease in sexual desire in a woman is affected not only by the birth of a child. Sexual satiety with each other occurs as a result of monotonous sex. Of course, it is impossible to come up with something new every time, but nothing dampens desire like complete predictability. Imagine that you really like a dish. And now they offer it to you every day. Obviously, very soon you will get tired of it and you just refuse it. So it is in love relationships.   

Female sexuality directly depends on the emotional mood. After several years of marriage, a woman knows her man like the back of her hand, and is far from always admired by his behavior. But the problem is that in order to feel sexual desire, she just needs to admire her husband! For a man, this condition does not matter at all. A man always easily enters a state of “combat readiness”. And even a quarrel with his wife is not an obstacle.    

But a woman cannot do that. Therefore, it turns out that, offended by her husband, a woman can easily afford to apply the punishment in the form of a ban on sex. After all, for her it is natural. The logic is simple: the man is to blame, she is in frustrated feelings, which means she is not up to sex. She really doesn’t want him! And the man is perplexed. After all, it is arranged in a completely different way. So it turns out that a woman, through her own behavior, without realizing it, pushes a man into the arms of another woman.  

Let’s drop sentiments and ask ourselves a simple question: why does a man get married at all? Believe me, if he needed only a housewife who would wash, iron, cook, he would choose one of the following options:    

 – I would stay with my mother (budget); – I would hire myself a housekeeper (for the wealthy). 

If he also needed to close his emotional needs, then he would have got a dog and a couple of best male friends. But no … Of all of the above, he chooses a wife. So why so ? The answer is now obvious, right? He needs a lot of sex. And getting married, a woman promises him this. But becoming a wife, for some reason quickly forgets about it. The husband feels cheated.      

Do you constantly find excuses to refuse him in the bedroom? Know that after this the man feels rejected. If such failures become systematic, then the man simply will have no choice – betrayal is inevitable. 

Wives, be wiser! In your hands is the control panel for your husband. It is in your hands, not in his hands! Sexual hunger makes a man always remember his wife. To think about her. Lust her. This does not mean that you need to always be trouble-free. Not at all. May he seek you. Let them conquer. But do not forget about his reward.    

Live with the feeling of your sexuality. Even if you don’t have a model figure. Nobody is perfect. Remember: for a man, external aesthetics are not the main thing. He loves you for who you are. That is why he is married to you. But it is extremely important for him that you also accept it. And for a man, full acceptance without sexual interaction is impossible.  

The firm belief that the path to a man’s heart lies through his stomach is not completely true. Cook him not only an excellent dinner, but also sexual dishes. And let his diet be varied. Learn each other. Love each other. Give energy and joy. And remember that a happy husband does not cheat on his wife.  

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