Sexual compatibility: truth or fiction?

Now literally everyone talks about the sexual compatibility of partners. Many women say that the breakup with her husband was due to incompatibility in sex or the partner’s temperament is to blame. Do you want to know who came up with this concept and inspired millions of residents with the idea of ​​sexual compatibility?

Thanks to Freud

You can divide psychoanalyst into two parts – “before Freud” and “after Freud.” It was he who paid attention to the study of sex issues, the causes of neuroses and tantrums, analyzed dreams and tried to understand how people are influenced by sexual desire. We can thank him for many ideas. But there are those that cause confusion.
Freud coined the phrase “sexual compatibility” to explain the reasons for the absence or presence of orgasm in women. This term was very much liked by his fans and followers. Perhaps this is why many are now trying to determine whether they are compatible with partners and what to do if this is not the case. Crowds of coaches, psychoanalysts and sexologists are ready to line up to solve the problem of incompatibility. 

Psychotype, temperament, sexual development

Considering that we choose a partner at the subconscious level, we intuitively feel his attraction for us. Have you ever felt the urge to have sex with a stranger? And the need to snuggle up to the chest of a boss or a colleague? This craving is the beginning of the emergence of sexual attraction. A lover’s temperament plays an important role in building a happy relationship. One can calmly react to your behavior, the other will break down and turn the showdown into a violent scandal. But in sex it does not matter at all whether your man is phlegmatic or choleric. If he knows how to feel you, your desires, notice what position you like, what is better to do during foreplay, your sex will be filled with vivid emotions. Laziness, narrow-mindedness, and overwhelming conceit are the main reasons for bad sex. There is already a problem in the illiteracy of a particular person. It is important to learn to feel your partner and be in the mood for pleasure. In most cases, tons of literature on the influence of psychotype or temperament on sexual life turn out to be another PR move. Everyone earns the best they can. 


Men are quick – shooters

There are, of course, psycho-emotional problems that affect the quality of your sex life. It has been proven that impotence can result from low self-esteem, severe nervous exhaustion or, oddly enough, lack of feelings for a partner. Love is also important for men. If your man cums systematically quickly – he has problems. But don’t talk about sexual incompatibility if you’re not enjoying yourself. It can cause you to orgasm not only with the genitals … You both have to work on the relationship. According to statistics from St. Petersburg scientists, the average sexual intercourse in men is 1 minute shorter than that of women. So all women don’t have an orgasm? Imagine a situation where all dissatisfied women consider their men to be quick-firing , explaining this by sexual incompatibility. An erection directly depends on the feelings and desires of both partners. They should feel sympathy for each other and show that caresses, kisses, the thirst for possession are mutual. If this is not the case, then there is no compatibility either.



Who first had sex

The first connoisseurs of lovemaking in history are fish. 385,000,000 years ago, they tried sex for survival. It was then that the males first introduced the appendage into the female. Australian professor J. Long argues that it is thanks to the fish that we can have sex and fertilize partners. He says that the process of copulation in animals is one of the most important stages in the development of mankind. Based on the above, people acquired the need for reproduction thanks to our ancestors, primates (according to Darwin’s theory). And the fact that we have learned not only to produce offspring, but also to enjoy, confirms our superiority over other species. 



How male compatibility is perceived

Researchers at Saitama University argue that sex means different things to men and women. The reason is in the different structure of the brain, more precisely, in the size of those zones that provoke the emergence of desire. In men, the number of neurons decreases and they think less during sex. Therefore, it is men who are more likely to have one-day relationships and quick sex. Roughly speaking, most men perceive sexual compatibility as “like it or not like it.” If a woman sends signals about readiness for intimacy, is attractive in appearance and is ready to play according to the proposed rules, she fits. The woman analyzes more, perceiving sex more subtly. It is important for her that the potential partner is ready to continue the relationship after sex, so his character, social status, manners are evaluated on a par with his appearance. 


Different needs, different desires

Scientists from Ohio have reported that the average man thinks about sex about 18 times. If you imagine the situation that a man is with friends in a bar, meets an attractive woman who agrees to spend the night with him, in 40% of cases he will take this chance.

A woman thinks about sex about 9 times, so her desires are not so expressed. Only 10% of women will be able to make love on the first day after they meet.
Considering these facts, the following conclusion suggests itself. The concept of “sexual compatibility” is important primarily for women. It is we who adjust the man to the criteria, we try to determine the reasons for our union and analyze the shortcomings. If problems arise in bed and dissatisfaction with our man, we try to justify this with sexual incompatibility. 

Men lie

According to the results of surveys conducted around the world, it has been proven that men often lie when talking about sex. They increase the list of mistresses, come up with victories and try to appear more experienced. After conducting surveys, scientists found out that half of Swedish men dream about sex more than 15 times a day. 80% of Norwegians experience attraction up to 16 times a day.

Interestingly, women think about sex and want it much less often. According to the results obtained, about 60% of Australian women feel no desire, and 30% do not even feel an orgasm.

In Russia, sociologists tried to find out the answer to the question of what place sex occupies in the lives of men and women. 42% of men and 26% of women under the age of 30 responded positively to it. For them, he is in first – third place.

Since women are less likely to be sexually attracted than men, and their interest in sex is much lower, physical intimacy does not bring them pleasure. Either men do not try to satisfy their partner, or women cannot relax, but the fact remains.


Sexual compatibility is a feeling of satisfaction with a partner, his caresses and a feeling of bliss (orgasm). Of course, in a couple, where two people talk about sex, discuss their preferences and put them into practice, there is much more freedom and harmony. In the same place where one of the partners is dissatisfied with the sex life, dissatisfaction with the other person arises. All his actions cause irritation, resentment and anger. Negative feelings are always subconsciously read, especially at the moment of intimacy. On this basis, incompatibility appears.

Of course, we must not forget about the degree of affection, respect, love. Positive emotions and trust in a partner significantly increase their attractiveness. If you feel bad with your partner and don’t enjoy having sex with him, try talking to him. Discussing the problem and finding a way out can sometimes help. But the partner’s unwillingness to adapt to you speaks of a lack of feelings. It may be worth building a relationship with another person, rather than looking for a problem in sexual incompatibility. 

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