Sexual incompatibility. Myth or Reality?

Sexual compatibility plays an important role in relationships, that is, the coincidence of sexual activity in both partners. Often, people who do not get satisfaction from intimate life with a certain partner talk about different temperaments. What is this “sexual incompatibility” – reality or another delusion about sex? There is a scientific definition of the concept: sexual incompatibility is a lack of satisfaction in intimate life with a specific partner.    

Why does sex incompatibility arise?

During the candy-bouquet period, when partners are just getting to know each other, hormones are raging that are responsible for joy, happiness, sexual desire, etc. It is at this time that the couple devotes a lot of time to intimacy, trying to get enough of their loved one, but when people begin to live together or they meet for a long time, the first problems with sexual life begin.
Regular sex with one person, predictability and external factors completely change the closeness of people when living together . And it is at such a time for the first time that partners think about whether they are suitable for each other. But even if there is a mismatch of desires or rhythms, this is not a reason to break off relations, everything can be corrected and the right compromises found. 

Types of sexual incompatibility

There are three types of sexual incompatibility. Knowing the characteristics of a couple’s sex life, one can easily determine the type of mismatch. And having this information, it will turn out to change the relationship, harmonize the couple 

Psychological sexual incompatibility

  • 1. It is observed in those couples in which one of the partners has overestimated requirements for a loved one. For example, a girl really wants intimacy, but does not even hint about this to her man, believing that he must guess himself about the presence of sexual desire.

How to be? Hint, pester your beloved, take the initiative. No man will remain indifferent when he sees desire in the eyes of his partner. A man is the same person as you, without the ability to read other people’s thoughts, so at least it’s silly to sit with the air of an old maid and wait for sex in silence. And you also need to learn how to communicate, discuss your needs, talk about fears and desires. It is a misunderstanding that is the cause of psychological sexual incompatibility. Trustful communication corrects everything, but if you do not have enough strength to talk yourself, you can turn to a psychologist. 

  • 2. There is also the opposite situation: a man is afraid that he will be bankrupt in bed and will not satisfy his girlfriend. Any thoughtless word, gesture or even sigh will only aggravate the situation, making the man more insecure.

How to be? Hug, talk to him, discuss intimate life, talk about your sexual desires. A man should feel that you understand him, appreciate and value your relationship. Do not fake an orgasm in any case, a smart man will quickly understand that you are playing, and this is an even greater blow to self-esteem than the absence of an orgasm as such. 

Mismatched biological rhythms

Human sexual activity is caused by hormones that are produced unevenly throughout the day. Someone wants sex in the morning, someone late in the evening, some need to do this every day, others have enough a couple of times a week. Faced with a similar situation, when a partner rarely has sexual desire, everyone finds their way out: some masturbate, others satisfy their need for sex with the help of sex toys, and still others turn on a sexual partner on the side.

How to be? Make love when possible, do not deny your partner in bed pleasures, as they say, the appetite comes with eating. And again – discussion makes the problem solvable. No need to hide masturbation, the desire for more intimacy. A bad decision is to cheat on your loved one. In today’s world, there are many ways to find a compromise. For example, swing or an open attitude are great solutions, but they only work with complete trust. 

Physiological sexual incompatibility

  • 1. It is extremely rare, usually it is associated with the size of the genitals. It happens that in women the vagina becomes very wide after childbirth, and she practically does not feel the man, and he gets little pleasure when the penis easily slips into the bosom.

How to be? To restore the elasticity of the vaginal muscles, be sure to train them. Here Kegel exercises will come to the rescue, consisting in alternating relaxation and compression of the pelvic muscles or vaginal balls, which are inserted inside for a certain time. 

  • 2. It happens on the contrary, the man’s penis is too large and, when fully inserted, hurts the woman. Naturally, she no longer thinks about any pleasure and just waits for the end of the act.

How to be? Get a special restraining ring in an intimate store that will not allow a man to penetrate deeply. Or look for other ways to get satisfaction, because there is oral, anal sex, mutual masturbation. Even without refusing a partner, you can find interesting ways to solve such a problem. As it turned out, sexual incompatibility is a harsh reality that occurs in this world. But two loving people are quite capable of coping with it. 

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