The desire for sexual rapprochement, the so-called libido, is a special relationship of a person of the same sex to a person of the opposite sex. It is gender, not character or type of behavior (although, of course, there are exceptions – for example, situations where one male person has guilty of the second, and he promises to establish a short intimate relationship with him).
Sex drive is a special behavior of a man and a woman in relation to each other, the ultimate goal of which in healthy, sexually mature people is mutual sexual satisfaction.
“Sexual need is a powerful force, ” A. Bebel wrote. “ She … is sharper than the cry that tamed wild elephants, she is hotter than a flame, she is like an arrow piercing the spirit of man.”
Some people believe (more often these are representatives of the older generation) that a person’s libido should not be manifested by unbridled attacks. Sexual attraction should always be controlled by consciousness, arise under the influence of a conscious attitude to the representative of the opposite sex. Once J.-J. Rousseau subtly remarked: “All passions are good when we possess them: all are bad when we obey them.”
But, according to the practical application of sex drive, this is one of its features – “inciting” a person to commit stupidities. That is why it is good, which allows a person to feel different, capable of much.
“It seems that nature wants one sex to perceive sensually everything good and beautiful in the other, ” wrote W. Goethe. However, such a perception is possible only with the ability to control oneself. After all, the inborn sexual instinct controls and regulates libido – sexual experiences that occur independently of consciousness.
The formation of sexual desire as a form of sexual behavior of a person, as well as the ability to manage it are influenced by others (parents, educators, teachers), general culture and upbringing, social maturity, especially working conditions, life, etc.
The right to manifest a morally healthy sex drive is afforded by love. It is this sex drive that is the expression of true love between a man and a woman. That is why in the case of a beloved woman’s refusal to establish sexual intercourse with a man, a man can ask her:
– Tell me, is sex without love right? “ No, ” of course she will answer. – And love without sex?
However, one should not forget that sex drive and love are not the same thing. If the first is an innate, instinctive feeling and in a “pure” form is inherent only to animals, then the second is a feeling peculiar only to man. Love is a social phenomenon, it is a kind of superstructure over instinctive sexual desire. She is fuller and more beautiful than animal sexual instinct. Healthy love includes sex drive as an indispensable component, but it does not come down to it. This is the joy that, “making us sensitive to every beating of life, to every impression of being, indifferent to both physical and moral, develops, strengthens the body, ” wrote IP Pavlov.