Why am I freaking out when I can’t cum?

If the woman did not have an orgasm during sex, she begins to get nervous. This behavior is characteristic of 33% of women. What is such nervousness connected with and how to deal with it? There are simple but effective tips from psychologists.

Who is experiencing stress from lack of orgasm?

If a woman is used to experiencing an orgasm often, if she received it with a partner during each sexual intercourse, then in the future she expects similar feelings. Accustomed to regular pleasure, she can no longer refuse it. And if the desired ending does not happen, she is nervous.

Dissatisfaction with the lack of orgasm is less common in those women who do not often reach the peak of pleasure. For them, orgasm is not regularity, but a rare phenomenon that is better not to wait. Therefore, their tension in bed and after sex is much lower. Those who have never experienced an orgasm do not even know that you can be nervous after sex. They can be followed by an obsession about achieving an orgasm, but it is not related to the number of sexual acts.  

 

How nervousness spoils life

If the orgasm did not happen, and the woman was waiting for him, the emotional background changes. She becomes irritable, harsh and unhappy. This is not just a deterioration in mood, it is a significant change in the state in a negative direction. Such a shift is bad for communication . Sometimes breakdowns occur on close people. Spilling out the negative is possible both on the partner and on the children. Sometimes claims are made even to strangers. Any trifle can become the cause of the surge. A nervous person cannot work normally . He is unable to concentrate, negative thoughts distract from work. And everything is done much more slowly and less efficiently. Nervousness can persist from several hours to several days. The ending is often a scandal, hysteria or a long conversation with a friend who supports complaints.  

 

 

How to remove nervousness after sex

To solve this problem is simple – you need to get to orgasm during or after sex. And then all the negative consequences will not happen. How to translate this into reality?

  • Ask a partner to help finish. An honest request will allow you to get a pleasant result together. And even if he or she has already finished, they will be happy to give you pleasure. It is only important to find the right words and not lie that everything is in the lock. 
  • Get an orgasm on your own. You can retire to the bathroom and enjoy masturbation. Sex toys can help in this, with them everything will turn out much faster. But if they are not, you can cope using only your hands. 
  • Relaxation. You can relieve stress not only through sex, you can choose another relaxation method, for example, massage, spa treatment or yoga or swimming. Meditation also helps. 
  • Sport. Manages to relieve nervousness in the gym. A full-fledged workout not only improves mood, but also helps to keep fit. And although it is difficult to force yourself to go to class, after it comes a moment of calm. 

Use these methods to remove not only emotional stress. Physically, these actions are also very good for health.

Stimulation in bed causes a rush of blood to the pelvic area. And orgasm is the apogee of experience, after which the work of the circulatory system returns to normal. But if there was no ending, the blood may stagnate in the vessels in the groin area . And it is sports, massage or orgasm that can fix it. So that there are no problems with nerves, it is worth learning how to always have an orgasm in sex . This can be achieved by strengthening the muscles of the pelvic floor, looking for new ways to achieve pleasure. It is important to get to know your body better, and then to suggest the best ideas to your partner. For this, simulators that stimulate creams and vibrators are used. 

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