Those who skillfully tell you about you are the easiest to win over, and when they talk about themselves, they open such nooks and crannies of the soul, to which questions are not immediately approached. Questions that will help position the interlocutor and get to know him better should be of an open type, that is, they should mean detailed answers, and not unambiguous “yes” and “no”.

The ability to ask questions is considered an art when you do not draw out information and do not make the interlocutor feel like you are under interrogation, you know how to listen, to monitor body language. We are happy to answer such questions that we have not had to think about before: these are psychological questions, bringing together, questions on awareness, as well as original and unexpected questions, which will be discussed in our material.

By giving your opponent the opportunity to talk about yourself, you give him comfort, a sense of relaxation and trust, and this affects the creation of closer and more lasting relationships.

Question categories

There is a generally accepted list of issues that contribute to a fairly rapid convergence of people, which can be divided into several categories.

Questions for acquaintance

This category includes questions related to preferences and interests (music, cinema, hobbies, etc.), questions about childhood are also possible – ask to talk about the most vivid memories or funny incidents from childhood, so you will even talk to a constrained person.

Many people like to tell funny stories about themselves, if they do not involve feelings of shame or guilt. Sometimes you may be told about something painful or exciting, in which case it’s time to show compassion and participation.

Approach questions

To begin with, you can ask about the types of women / men that are interesting to the interlocutor, then take turns telling what you like about each other. Mood-related questions can also be included here: what feelings or sensations the interlocutor experiences at a certain moment. Examples:

• Do you prefer giving gifts or receiving them? What feelings do you have at such a moment?
• What is your brightest and warmest moment from childhood?
• What do you like about me? Are there traits that you would also like to have?
• Tell me what makes you show the most unusual feelings and / or sensations. Have there been such cases in your life?
• Is there anything that will lift your spirits, even if something bad has happened?
• Have you had such situations after which your life just turned upside down, changed dramatically?

Questions for awareness

This category includes questions related to dreams: without leading questions, it is unlikely that a person himself will tell about dreams at the first meeting. Also important are questions about the internal state of the interlocutor in a particular situation. Examples:

• Do you have a secret that you have not shared with anyone at all? If so, what are your reasons for keeping it?
• What does your ideal day/year/month look like in your dreams?
• Have there been situations when you felt stupid, awkward? How do you deal with this condition?
• Have you ever had moments when you didn’t recognize yourself or did something that you didn’t even think about before?
• How do you feel about money? Name the first three words that come to mind.
• Three traits or traits that you would like to improve?

The purpose of such questions is to provide the interlocutor with the opportunity to “look into himself”, not only to open up, but also to think about what had not unconsciously slipped through his thoughts before.

Psychological issues

This category allows you to learn about the life guidelines of the interlocutor, his priorities and principles. Almost each of us strives for improvement, answering questions about self-development, the opponent will reveal to you his past and plans for the future. Examples:

• Do you have a place where you can relax, think about something important and recuperate?
• Is there anything you are proud of and would like to tell me about?
• Is there someone in your life who has influenced your life more than anyone else?
• What are you looking for and expecting from a relationship?
• How many friends do you think are real?
• Is there something in you that you hide not only from others, but even from people close to you?

original questions

Ask unexpected questions that will not scare off the interlocutor and, on the contrary, will drag them into the conversation. Such questions usually begin with turns “What would happen if …”. Continue the thought at your discretion, show ingenuity, connect your imagination as much as possible.

Consider the fact that such questions can give rise to disputes, and if you still want to avoid them, you should be prepared for the fact that the person may not agree with your opinion.

Examples:

• If you could commit a crime and not be held responsible, what would you do?
• If you could be a different person for one day, who would you choose?
• If you were given the opportunity to live a certain period of your life, what would it be like?
• If you had supernatural powers, what would they be?
• If you won a million dollars in the lottery, what would you spend it on first?
• If one of the famous scientists offered you an injection of “truth serum” to test it, would you agree or not? Why?

Conclusion

By asking these questions during a conversation, you can learn a lot of new things not only about your interlocutor, but also about yourself. Often, well-formulated questions allow a person to abstract, thereby providing an opportunity to look at oneself from a different perspective, connecting self-awareness and honesty with oneself, which make the conversation deeper and more interesting.

By asking interesting questions, you express to the interlocutor your interest in him and respect for his personality. Thus, strong ties are established with others, based on trust, sincere feelings. You get real information, because by opening up, a person stops embellishing certain events from his life that happened to him at certain periods of his life.

Each of us, on a subconscious level, feels when we are valued, build the foundation for a strong, mutually beneficial and happy relationship with the help of correctly posed questions: bringing together, psychological, original, and most importantly, honest. In communication, sincerity is important and especially tangible, which captivates like no other psychological trick.