As part of my job, I have to constantly keep my finger on the pulse of the sex industry. Agree, if not for the reviewers, how would you find out about the advantages and disadvantages of toys for adults?
Monitoring sex shop novelties is fun. Sometimes funny little things from the ” Shta ?” Series come across . The 18+ product market is overflowing with gadgets for perverted gourmets. In pursuit of variety, couples often go to extremes. As usual, demand creates supply. The shelves of virtual stores are packed with amazing, sometimes creepy , sexy toys. I bring to your attention a selection of 15 samples for the realization of specific erotic fantasies.
1. Leg-vagina
In my humble opinion, the vagina foot is the perfect female counterpart for fetishists. First, there is a foot. Secondly, there is a semblance of a vagina. True, you will need to lubricate it thoroughly, but live girls are far from always sufficiently moisturized. And finally – there is no mouth, and, consequently, the “girlfriend” will not bore the partner with whims and pushing .
2. Mustachioed Mr. Jack
Bringing Mr. Jack to bed is a great idea for those wishing to surprise their spouse on Halloween. At best, he will face a fit of Homeric laughter, and at worst, a severe nervous shock. A masturbator in the shape of a sensual mouth, over which an elegant tendril grows … Mom, I want to erase my memory!
3. Butt plug “Little Jesus”
The name of the product already implies a complete trash . And they say that “South Park” offends the feelings of believers! The developer of this miracle assures that divine intervention inspired him to create the toy. I wouldn’t be surprised if marketers advertise cork as a panacea for STDs and hemorrhoids.
4. Erotic costume of a sheep
Comrades, a new era has come in bestiality. Now, when copulating with animals, not a single sheep will suffer. Previously, fauna lovers risked being childless for the rest of their days. Nature made a cruel joke on them, making it impossible for the natural crossing of a man and a lamb. Today they will be able to pass on their genes. To do this, it is enough to dress a woman in an erotic costume. As they say, the sheep are safe and the zoophiles are satisfied.
5. Take Tiger Home
The Tiger Woods sex scandal has long outlived its usefulness, but its echoes are ineradicable. As soon as information about the sportsman’s promiscuity leaked to the press, toy manufacturers reacted with lightning speed. They released an inflatable doll depicting the iconic golfer. This product won me over with slogans on the box. Here are some quotes:
“He has a huge stick”
“He’s always ready to play an extra hole (or even two).”
“He will show you his club if you show him your hole.”
6. Cake -flavored lubricant
Have you ever heard of people who were so hungry during sex that they interrupted their meals? Apparently, such individuals exist. It is for them that the edible lubricant was created . Manufacturers recommend generously applying lubricant to the partner’s genitals and licking the “cream”. From myself I will add a little advice – do not try to bite a delicate girlish cake.
7. Clown vibrator
Not only are clowns creepy by themselves, but the developers of sex toys decided to add vibrations to them and sell them as a device for enjoyment. Let’s not waste time on trifles and instead of porn we will include the film adaptation of the novel “It” by Stephen King. Moreover, a remake will be released in 2017.
8. Clips-shockers
The taste and color of the markers are different. I do not judge people who prefer painful forms of erotic fun. The main condition is that the game must be by mutual agreement. But I’m a little intimidated by electrified nipple pegs. I hope I’m not alone in my fears.
9. Hot dog
In pursuit of pleasure, we began to forget about our smaller brothers. But pets also want mundane love. Calmly! What are you thinking about ?! I’m smoothly bringing you to the point that dogs need masturbators. How long will sexually mature dogs have sex with the limbs of their owners or guests? What are you waiting for – four-legged sex toys have been invented for a long time
10. Butt plug “Putin”
In one of my old articles, I mentioned the George W. Bush butt plug. But with the departure of the politician from the presidential cabinet, the tradition of making plugs with famous faces has not died. I present to your judgment the pride of the American porn industry – the plug “Putin”. I’m looking at her, and the motive of the Internet hit “ Putin , Putout ” is playing in my head (video attached).
11. Massager “I’m a slave to my duck”
I’ll clarify right away – I slightly corrected the translation of the name of the product for adults in accordance with the appearance of the device. Ok, let’s say you love taking a bubble bath with a rubber duck. Let’s say you enjoy BDSM games. But why combine these two passions? Kachur the masochist is freakin ‘weird.
12. Briefs “Obama”
In order not to be accused of prejudice, I will balance the political component of the collection. Russian craftsmen presented the answer to the butt plug “Putin”. Admire the Barack Obama erotic lingerie. The product is wildly popular. I don’t know what kind of normal guy would get excited by the idea of copulating with the oral cavity of an African American. You can’t do without vodka, how to drink.
13. Full body cover
For a long time I could not dare to include a full body cover in the collection. I can already imagine how men will start storming Amazon. Such a suit will come in handy in every household. Complement it with a ball gag. Does your girlfriend have PMS? Slide it into the cover. Want a new iPhone ? Slip it into the cover and gag. Is the “beloved” mother-in-law coming? Buy two cases for the price of one!
14. Doll “Area 51”
I love the internet and admire the fantasy of sex product developers. At one point, the guys got tired of casting standard human genitals from rubber and decided to experiment. As a result, a pretty alien appeared in stores. Three breasts, two vaginas, one of which replaces the mouth, and lilac-colored skin. Exciting, isn’t it?
15. Box of Loyalty
For dessert, I have prepared for you a classic bandage – a chastity belt for men. In my naivety, I believed that the device was taken out of production back in the era of the Crusades. But it was not there. Modern ladies are offered to place the spouse’s penis in metal boxes, lock the lock and keep the key at the heart. The main thing is not to lose it.