The first romantic meeting is a responsible and important event where you must show your best side and capture the attention of a person you like. We all try to please, but when this is not necessary, take our advice into service.

We tried to remember the most effective tricks on how to ruin a date and humorously outline them below. Seriously, we went from the opposite: read it and never do it in order to win it irrevocably.

How to plan a date the right way

• Don’t take a shower before a date. If you see her twisted grimace, say that before meeting you, she simply did not know how a real man smells.
• Bring crosswords and a pen with you. Do not cut off the shoulder: do not tell her that she is bored, but simply unfold the collection and start solving.
• A man should feel like a master of the situation. Do not treat, do not give flowers on the first date – let her understand that she has not yet deserved such bonuses. After all, the fact that you found some time in your busy schedule to meet should be a gift for her.
• If you want to have a fun evening, take your best friend and some of your favorite beer on a date.

Prepare Presents

• The phrase “I am a man with disabilities” will save you from having to explain yourself for not having a bouquet.
• Give her … beads of breadcrumbs. After all, my mother said: the best gift is made with your own hands.
• Perhaps you can give her your photograph, which she should put on the bedside table and rejoice at your portrait, waking up.

Don’t skimp on compliments

• Give her a compliment. Say that she has big and expressive eyes, almost like your ex.
• Say that in real life she is not as beautiful and slender as in the photo. Let him know that you are straightforward and always frank.
• Flirt. We can say that you are from the police, and you urgently need to search her house.

Don’t Forget Manners

• If she is late for the restaurant where you booked a table, take advantage of the moment and boldly order first courses. So you can eat whatever you want on your own.
• Announce that you are a feminist and support gender equality and her desire to pay the bill in half. However, if she invests in you as a person, you will like it too.
• Start pestering her in the middle of the evening: “Relax, baby, this is an innocent foreplay …”
• Refer to myopia whenever you put your hand on her hips. And deaf – when she is indignant about this.
• Announce that you are sitting in front of her in polka-dot shorts. Let him know that you are prepared.

If something didn’t go according to plan

• If she says she doesn’t kiss on the first date, respond calmly: “Fine. Me too. Let’s have sex without kissing.”
• If she refused to go to you after the first meeting, do not worry. Send her a photo of your manhood in private messages. Let her know what she has lost.
• If something doesn’t go according to plan, say that all women are bitches, slam the door and leave. Let him live with this thought.
• If you want the girl to leave by herself, pick up the phone and write her a message “Bro, I had no idea that she was so scary.”

A little more bad advice “to finish off “

• Take her to the park, play catch-up, run away and hide behind a tree. She needs to understand how easy it is to lose you.
• Tell her about the shortcomings of all your exes, and let her dare to disagree at least about something. To justify you, the phrase “I thought you were special.”
• Tell her that you are terminally ill, and the only thing that can save you is a passionate night of love with her.
• After spending the night together, tell her that you are leaving for the army so that she understands that the second meeting will definitely not take place in the coming year.