Unlike animals, humans have not settled on one form of relationship—monogamy and polygamy—both practiced by society. The choice of the type of relationship depends on the culture, historical background, economic conditions, social relations. How do people choose between monogamy and polygamy?

What is the difference between monogamous and polygamous relationships

In monogamy, the couple remains faithful to each other, abstaining from sexual relations with others. The word “monogamy” is translated from Greek as “monogamy”. Subspecies of monogamy describe different aspects of life. Marriage monogamy is marriage with only one spouse.

The civil marriage of two is social monogamy. If partners have intimate relationships only with each other, this is sexual monogamy. The term “genetic monogamy” refers only to the establishment of paternity.

Monogamy is usually associated with loyalty, devotion, choice for life. People often enter into a monogamous union, then break it off and create a new monogamous marriage. Such polygamy is called multiple monogamy.

In polygamy, marriages or sexual relationships extend beyond the boundaries of one couple. The composition of polygamy also has several subspecies. Polygyny is the relationship of a man with several women. Relationships of one woman with different men are polyandry. Polygamy includes bigamy – a man and two women, one of them a wife and the other a mistress.

Men are polygamous and women are monogamous – is this statement true?

The natural polygamy of men is more of an excuse for justification than an objective reality. Natural female monogamy also does not hold water. The dependence of monogamy on gender is too exaggerated, but it has some truth.

U.S. scholars have conducted research into marital relationships, in particular monogamy . The study found that men have a greater propensity for polygamy: 20-25% of husbands are unfaithful to their wives, and 10-15% of wives cheat on their husbands.

The polygamy of men is often explained by ingrained instincts. Prehistoric men died more often than women, so polygamy was a great solution to preserve the population. Female monogamy also has biological reasons: mothers who are busy raising children do not look for partners.

An instinctive disposition towards polygamy is a weak excuse for adultery. People have long ceased to be animals. Actions are determined by free will, not instincts. A person daily feels the pressure of many instinctive impulses, but it is up to him to give in or not.

The tendency to monogamy or polygamy is due to the culture and economic relations between members of society. Monogamy and polygamy are the strategies of society and each has advantages. People have learned to use both strategies depending on the situation.

Historical background of polygamy and monogamy

According to scientists, monogamy in marital relations appeared about 10-20 thousand years ago. For modern developed countries, monogamy has long been the norm. The morality and legislation of Islamic countries allow polygamy, but Muslims are often virtually monogamous, marrying once, adopting a European way of life.

Monogamy has become a Western lifestyle trend as it has several obvious benefits. Moreover, monogamy contributed to the development of modern culture. What are the benefits of being monogamous ?

• high level of care. Parents have a few offspring, they are better taken care of;
• surrounded by care, children are more likely to realize. Monogamy leads to a high potential for the development of society;
• a married man no longer competes with others, monogamy reduces the overall level of intraspecific aggression;
• with monogamy, families form strong family ties. In polygamy, rivalry for favorite places makes it difficult to establish strong ties;
• elite monogamy contributes to the stability of the political system. The Roman emperor Octavian Augustus encouraged monogamy . Children from collateral connections could weaken the position of the heirs, the golden youth;
• in the Middle Ages and modern times, the Christian church encouraged monogamy, while maintaining the principle of inheritance: bastards should not challenge the property rights of legitimate children.

Some societies had prerequisites for the development of polygamy. In India, parents had to collect a dowry for the girl. Too poor families refused to have a daughter. Over time, women became numerically less than men.

In Tibet, polyandry also took root for economic reasons. To keep the family land plot intact, the parents married only the eldest son. After the wedding, the rest of the brothers were also considered the husbands of the girl.

Monogamy has become the norm, but polygamy is also common in the world. The Areal Card Index of Human Relations, based at Yale University, Connecticut, calculated that out of 1,231 societies, 186 practice monogamy, 453 allow polygamy, 588 have polygyny as the norm, and 4 have polyandry.

How the harem and polygamy hinder the development of society

The emergence of polygamy is not always caused by economic necessity. Sometimes a man takes multiple wives because he can afford it. The most famous examples of polygamy are the harems of Chinese and Ottoman rulers.

The ideas of luxury among the eastern rulers extended to women according to the principle “the more the better.” The Ottoman sultan could have more than a thousand concubines. A huge harem burdened the state treasury.

Even more negative consequences of polygamy were manifested in palace intrigues. Rivalry between women or sons created political instability. The crisis was often resolved by multiple fratricides. To put it mildly, polygamy hindered the development of moral values.

Are all people polygamous? Where can you find a monogamous partner?

The results of research by scientists do not boil down to the fact that everyone is polygamous. People of both sexes are rather ” ultrasocial ” – they choose a profitable strategy according to circumstances. Today, developed countries consider monogamy a behavioral norm. Therefore , there should be no problems finding a partner capable of monogamy .

Men often feel attracted to multiple women, but that doesn’t mean they’re polygamous or incapable of fidelity. Human beings have the will and can control the instinct of polygamy in the same way that they suppress the instinct of aggression.

Is a monogamous relationship ideal?

The monogamy model is practiced by the majority, but monogamy is not a universal recipe for family happiness. Polygamy is accepted in Islam, and the number of wives is limited to four. A Muslim woman agrees to become a second, third or fourth wife because even a polygamous marriage is better than being left without a husband. The choice between monogamy and polygamy is determined by culture, traditions, economic reasons.

Are you FOR polygamy or monogamy in a relationship – the pros and cons

Monogamy greatly contributed to the development of the Western world. The following advantages of monogamy that ensured success are distinguished:

• families are distinguished by a high degree of care for offspring;
• monogamy reduces competition between men for women, promotes the creation of trusting relationships;
• strong family ties keep from conflicts;
• monogamy strengthens the institution of private property through a clear inheritance of property.

Some of the benefits of polygamy include:

• society is able to quickly restore the population after massive losses, for example, wars;
• women receive social security.

The disadvantages of polygamy appear if there are too many wives:

• women cannot fulfill themselves. In harems, the sultan often did not touch the concubines;
• family ties were weakly developed, and the lack of attachments gave rise to discord;
• large harems required huge expenses.

Polyamory – relationships, not sex at a time

The term ” polyamory ” is close to polygamy. The difference between polyamory and polygamy is the emphasis on feelings. The origin of the phenomenon is somewhat different: traditions give rise to polygamy, and polyamory is a personal choice.

Polygamists deny the destructive feeling of jealousy. Polyamory is not a form of marriage, but a worldview that allows love relationships with several people at the same time. People who find polyamory acceptable are not necessarily in polygamous relationships. They may have a relationship with one partner or be free.

Should a polygamous partner change?

Women are often concerned about the question of whether it is possible to instill monogamy in a man. Probably not. You cannot force an adult to change behavior if he has little motivation. But a man who appreciates his wife is able to refrain from cheating, to give up some of his desires in favor of monogamy .

Attempts to pressure and manipulate a partner in order to instill monogamy usually end in failure. A man can lose confidence or withdraw into himself.

Conclusion

Societies practice different forms of marriage and intimate relationships – monogamy, polygamy, polyamory . The choice between polygamy and monogamy is dominated by traditions, preferences and desires. Monogamy does not guarantee success. The level of family happiness determines the satisfaction of partners from marriage.