Can I remain a virgin after 30 years of marriage? The lack of sexual education

Somehow the other day a neighbor Baba Masha came to me. Talk “for life”, consult how to fill out documents to her. She advised that nephews are rare, and she is already over eighty, overcome with illness. She had no children of her own. The husband died thirty years ago. Died of hard drinking.

A widower is living on the floor next to Baba Masha, and I advised her to take a closer look at him. Together, it’s more fun to pass old age. The old woman settled down, a mischievous twinkle appeared in her eyes, as if there was no painful conversation about illness and loneliness. “I’m afraid of men!” – as cut off. 

“Why should they be afraid, you need to love them,” I concluded. In response, I heard such a terrific story, from which I could not come to my senses for a very long time.  

Masha married Anton at the age of twenty. A cheerful village girl, working and ambulance, Masha struggled to take root in the city. Anton worked as a janitor, so he got an apartment in our house. The whole numerous Relatives’ machine immediately arrived from the village to visit them in a one-room apartment, and so it “healed up”. Either the sister had to be attached somewhere, the mother got sick, they drove to hospitals.  

The young had no close relations. According to Baba Masha, Anton tried to do something with her a couple of times, only she didn’t understand anything … Yes, and he, apparently, did too. So the years passed. There were no children. Where did they come from if Baba Masha remained a virgin!

Anton began to drink, relatives were arriving … Our house is standing next to the station, everyone passing by is a good guest in their “hut.” There was no talk of intimacy. Yes, it is clear that nature did not make any claims to any of them. Masha worked hard and hard, Anton retrained as a plumber. About thirty years later, such a “joint” life, he died of unbridled drunkenness.  

Masha was still not old; serious men had wooed her. She was only afraid of them, like fire. What good is marriage? Some duties …

I thought about this tragedy of life for a long time. She told her mother and in response received another revelation. Mom and dad had no children for several years after the wedding. Dad studied at the medical institute and, it would seem, had to have some kind of sex education. Alas! With a direct question, he turned to a professor teaching gynecology, and – received a very streamlined answer. Oh times! There is no sex in the USSR, a forbidden topic! Even the professor could only indicate the pages in the textbook so that the student himself would look for answers to his questions.  

It is great happiness that dad turned out to be a meticulous student, he found a way out, realized his mistake. Today, such illiteracy may seem comical. It was no coincidence that my sister and I were born. And they might not have been born … After all, someone was not born to the woman Masha.  

In our time, sex in the country has suddenly “appeared”, and the Internet helps to bridge the gap in literacy in sexual relations. Only here chaotic knowledge, in a whisper, as about something dirty, low, indecent, and cause a lot of problems.

Why do we have sex? What is the meaning of sexual education of youth? Often parents are silent about this topic, shy – and transfer their unsuccessful sexual experience to children. As a result – the growth of divorces, an squeamish attitude towards sex or vice versa – complete licentiousness.   

Who brings up future wives and husbands in our children? Who gives them a competent vector regarding gender interactions? School? Give positive examples, I do not know such. A family? These are rare exceptions. Yard? Most often. Here are just “my universities” in the courtyard that produce distorted, hypertrophied, passed through the prism of their own experience senior comrades knowledge. And fairy tales retransmitted a hundred times from mouth to mouth and were about someone’s first sexual encounter, about someone’s victories and defeats. And the teenage brain begins to seek adventure. How it all ends sometimes, everyone knows for himself.

What to do? Start raising a small Woman and a real Man from an early age. But our children are also our teachers. Together with them, parents and their “gaps” will be able to fill in, surprisingly noticing how many incorporeal problems will begin to disappear. Man is one, whole and multifaceted. And any soul problem is reflected on the body.  

Where can the “illiterate” parents get the necessary knowledge? Today, on the shelves of stores a large number of books and encyclopedias, smart films and illustrated guides. To begin with, it would be nice to read the material on the topic ourselves, gain the necessary experience, reveal your sexual potential, and then confidently and calmly prepare the kids for adulthood.  

Perhaps then proctologists, urologists and gynecologists will have nothing to do. Only “release” into the light of new healthy people.

It’s time to seriously engage in the promotion of healthy sexuality.

“Sexual relations are only one of many factors that give satisfaction in marriage, but if they are not in order, then nothing else can be in order” (O. Butterfield). 

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