Attitude towards the satisfaction of one of the basic instincts in society has changed repeatedly. There have been times of complete tabooing of this sphere of human relationships. There was some time and the revolutionary “theory of the glass of water”, whose authorship was not attributed to anyone, from Aurora Dyudevan, better known by the literary pseudonym George Sand, to Clara Zetkin and the main feminist of the young Soviet country Alexandra Kollontai. In the developed USSR, there was nothing “such”, as we know. “First think about the Motherland,” taught the young communists, “and then about yourself.” And the communist was not supposed to think about the satisfaction of a lowly lust at all, but another thing was to waste creative energy on all sorts of nonsense and indecency. “The look of morality,” you see.
In today’s public consciousness, the satisfaction of sexual needs is built up almost to an absolute. Intimate interactions are given so much importance that it begins to seem to many – to deny “this” to your body is not only wrong, but also dangerous to health.
Is it so?
The needs of the body and their satisfaction
The ancient instincts laid down by Nature are powerful. Some of them are aimed at the survival of the individual, others – at the survival of the species. The difference between them is that neglect of the first can lead to death, and dissatisfaction with the second on the body, if it affects negatively, then to a degree completely non-lethal.
Refusing to quench your hunger and thirst is deadly, just as you stop breathing. To refuse procreation and everything connected with it is not at all disastrous.
Moreover, in higher mammals, to which Reasonable Man belongs, it is often allowed only the best for alpha-males and alpha-females to mate for the sake of reproduction. But copulation for pleasure is generally only characteristic of dolphins and chimpanzees bonobos.
And what about the people?
And people are all different, depending on the social structure. In some places the right to sexual expression belongs only to men, and women are denied it altogether. And so that sinful thoughts do not attend the “weak female head”, in girls even before the onset of puberty, everything that depends on getting pleasure from physical intimacy with a man is barbarously amputated. Give birth – give birth, and everything else is “not according to the ruling.”
Another thing – the so-called “civilized countries”, where gender equality is given great importance, and all sexes, and not just two, designed and embodied by nature. Such a meaning deprives the meaning of the concepts “femininity” and “masculinity” as degrading.
Alexandra Kollontai together with Klara Zetkin would be very surprised to see how the theory of “glass of water” attributed to them on the sly spread and almost won in the public consciousness. Satisfaction of the sexual instinct is now considered vital, and the impossibility of its realization is often regarded as a risk factor for health.
How reasonable is this? Should I be afraid that sexual abstinence will cause body and the psyche irreparable harm?
The myth of “spermotoksikoze” and prostate from abstinence
Most people use this word with ironic overtones, but quite a lot of those who really believe: from the “sperm stagnation” in the body can develop some kind of toxicosis in pregnant women. The semen that has not left the sex glands allegedly begins to decompose there with the formation of harmful substances that poison the body.
We hasten to reassure: nothing like this happens. Sperm is not food residues, not urine, from which harmful substances are removed from the body. Unsverted in the process of copulation or masturbation, sperm as it is not needed is utilized in the body, without causing him any harm.
It is also believed that unused seminal fluid causes congestion in the male genital organs, and this is precisely why prostatitis begins.
In fact, the main risk factors in the development of prostatitis are:
- sexually transmitted infections (STIs);
- sedentary, sedentary lifestyle;
- constant stress;
- improper diet, excess weight;
- abuse of alcohol, tobacco, drug addiction;
- anal sex.
The question of “sperm stagnation” can be resolved not only by ordinary (or unconventional) intercourse, but also by masturbation.
The myth of mental damage due to low sexual activity: depression, hysteria, paraphilia
Very many men and women are sure: if they do not regularly have sex, they can at least deteriorate their character. The worst options are assumed depression, neurosis, hysteria in women, the development of paraphilia and mania in men. By paraphilia are meant different, unacceptable in society, variations of sexual desire, including pedo, zoo, necrophilia and the like.
For the first time this idea appeared in the 19th century, when advanced doctors treated hysteria in women with sessions of healing stimulation of intimate organs in order to get a therapeutic orgasm. Helped, they say. That, in fact, is not surprising – at that time, especially in prim Victorian Britain, women were not supposed to want “nothing at all” at all. Lie down, be patient, get pregnant, give birth, and your happiness is in pleasing your spouse and in motherhood. However, the “real gentlemen” indulge in violent passions on the bed, too, was somehow not very well, “fu” straight. Another thing – hunting, game, horses, collecting, war and politics.
Anecdote to the topic
English lord’s estate. A gynecologist comes out of his wife’s bedroom and, with a mournful face, reports:
“Alas, sir, but your spouse is still not pregnant.” You should visit her bedroom more often if you want an heir.
– What a shame! – the aristocrat answers. – Again, these ugly poses, these absurd gestures …
In fact, there is no evidence that the absence of “normal” sexual contact leads to the transfer of a specific interest to nontraditional objects – to children, animals, etc.
Depression or neurosis can be caused not by the absence of intimacy as such, but by feelings about it. “I don’t have a girlfriend in bed – I’m a loser.” “I don’t have a boyfriend – I’m a loser, an ugly / fat / thin / (underline).
At times, people around them, and even doctors advising to do “this” for health, add fuel to the fire. Virgins and virgins over the age of 16 cause bewilderment and suspicion – is everything in order with them?
It is not surprising that under such pressure of society, a person may begin to experience an inferiority complex if he does not enter into intimacy at least a couple of times a week. Especially if an intimate person, in general, is not needed, but instead of these “ridiculous gestures” you want to sleep, read, walk, watch a new film, draw a picture, write a story, or do anything else, more interesting.
“Am I really frigid, what a nightmare! I did not take place as a woman! ”
“It seems that I am impotent … Vaughn Petruha / Zaur / Julio thinks about women only, constantly complains about a stiff morning erection, and I, like a sucker, are only excited in a dream, and even when I’m not dreaming about Angelina Jolie, but winning the competition / conquest of Everest / completion of the project. I’m not a macho, oh, not a macho … “
So we can conclude: the potential harm of abstinence lies not in physiology, but in the psyche.